Golden Teens Corner

…as Plants and Cornerstones (Psalms 144:12)

The issue of building a high and positive self esteem is now a trending one.


This is simply because the world is already tilting to a level where many people find it difficult to accept who they are or what they are capable of doing.

Many are not confident in how they look, what they can achieve or the potentials they carry.

In a simple definition, I will say that self esteem refers to the value or worth one places on himself or herself.

There are basically two forms of self esteem: low self esteem and high self esteem.

Low self-esteem is when you place a low or negative value on yourself.

On the other hand, high self-esteem which is also known as healthy self esteem is when you have a healthy and positive perspective of who you are.

However, the issue of whether one will have low or healthy self esteem starts from childhood to teenage years.

Researchers find out that people tend to suffer from low self esteem more at a younger age. Also, females tend to suffer more low self esteem than male.


From experience and interactions with people, I will briefly take about some of these reasons:

1) Peer influence: One of the leading factors of suffering from low self esteem among children, teenagers and young adults is influence from friends.

The struggle to be like their mates and not meeting up to that goal make some teenagers look down on themselves.

2) Childhood abuse or trauma: Someone that had either been physically or emotionally abused from a child will find it hard to believe in himself or herself. No matter how much strength such a one has, the person will find it difficult to belief he had so much to offer.

A lots of people that are abused tend to believe they were abused because they are good for nothing.

3) Thoughts and perceptions: To some, their thoughts play a tricky role in making them not to believe in themselves or totally downgrade themselves.

4) Age: This affect teenagers a lot. When some teenagers look at young adults and see how they are making progress, they tend to cower and assume they are limited to what they can do because they are young.

5) Illnesses or disabilities: Some people with some particular types of illnesses, disabilities of deformities tend to look down on themselves.

6) Social Media: This is another big factor to why people suffer from know self esteem. Social media is another world on its own that present life as such a flawless and perfect place.

Many allow the glamours they see on social media bring them down forgetting that not all that glitters are gold.

7) Engaging in sinful/evil things: When some people are secretly doing what they are not expected to do, they will in return try to run away from the public.

For instance, most people that engage in sexual sins like watching of pornography, masturbation or fornication do these in secrecy. After the acts, they fall into the pool of regrets which eventually lead to depression and low self esteem.

However, they more they get depressed, the more they keep engaging in these evil acts.

8) Experiences at home, school, work and in the community: The experiences some young people have with their parents, friends and neighbours also play a vital role in determining the kind of values teenagers place on themselves.

For some, the kind of background and culture. In some culture, the female gender are not expected to be confident.

Although some people are truthful enough to admit that they are suffering from low self esteem, some are oblivious of that fact. So, how do you know if you are probably suffering from low self esteem.
Some of the signs also manifest as the consequences you will face. They include:

1) Lack of confidence: Low self esteem work hand in hand with lack of confidence. There is no how someone that has placed a negative value on himself or herself will have the boldness to do what are expected.

2) Avoiding taking responsibilities or embarking on new project: People suffering from low self esteem definitively try to run away from responsibilities that can bring them to the limelight because they never believe they can do well.

3) Fear of failure.

4) Feeling unloved and unwanted.

5) Feeling of depression, anxiety and worry.

6) Blaming others or giving excuses for your mistakes.

7) Inability to sustain at kind of relationships.

8) Trying to please others.

9) Having emotional distress and psychological distress.

10) Withdrawal from people.

11) Oversensitivity to criticism and situations.

So, what’s the way forward? How do so.eone suffering from low self-esteem overcome this?

1) Forget whatever that had happened in the past. Whether you are experiencing low self esteem because of your childhood experiences or something bad you assume you could have controlled, you should let that go. As far as that is in the past, you have no control over them again. You can only look forward to the future and anticipate making the best use of it.

2) Surround yourself with positive people: Move with people that can see beyond what you are seeing in yourself. Move with highly motivated people.

3) Engage in personal development: Do whatsoever will improve your productivity.
Read good books.
Listen to good people.
Learn from positive people.

4) Do what you love: What is that thing you love doing most? Do it and see how excellently you will perform.

5) Accept yourself the way you are: If you are a female, nothing can change. Neither can you change your stature except you want or compromise.


6) Know your strengths and weaknesses:  Focus on and improve strengths. Do everything to also improve on your weaknesses.

7) Believe in yourself: You have to believe that are unique and a special breed of yourself. No matter how other look or what they do differently, you are you. You can never be someone else.

8) Constantly practice self affirmations and confessions.

9) Run away from evil and sins: If you know what you are secretly engaging in has been having a negative feeling on you, then, you have to put an end to them. Remember, any evil done secretly is also a big offence to God.

10) Talk to God about it:
Yes! Talking to God about how you feel about yourself and asking for grace to be a better person simply works.

Coupled with all other efforts you are making, try prayers as well.

I hope you’ve learnt one or two things from this article.
Do you think you are suffering from low self esteem?
What do you think you need to do differently?
Are there other things you will love to contribute as well?
I will be looking forward to reading from you in the comment session.

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