Dear teenage self,
I could not resist the urge to write to you again. I hope you liked my last letter and do enjoy hearing from me as I do, writing to you.
Would you believe me if I told you I overheard an interesting conversation some days ago that I thought you might be interested in? So, some days ago I was outside on the balcony with my neighbours. I know you might cringe, knowing how much we hate small talks but things change. We usually do talk about random things but the topic tends to change and at a point, the topic was on relationships. The conversation centered on someone’s boyfriend who was leaving school before her and naive me thought it to be a good idea since he would have the opportunity to work ahead of her to fend for himself and prepare for their future to-be home. But then someone else hissed and called my attention to what she tagged “wasted years” and others around seemed to agree.
Remember Ray, the first guy we cared for, the one who would make our heartbeat and butterflies jump in our tummy when he walked into the same room as us. Remember how we thought we would never like or love any other, but after, came Stephen, the one who our friends never stopped talking about, until we finally convinced ourselves that we loved him. Remember Ope, oh! The love that beamed in our hearts as we thought we had found the one. Remember the minutes and hours of guilt, when we found out he was interested in a friend of ours and then the joy that came when he noticed us and was interested.
Remember the days we spent contemplating if we should join the dating game but could never decide and then cry ourselves to sleep because we were confused and we had no one to talk to.
Remember when those worries became lesser and lesser because Ope didn’t matter anymore and Kelvin had come to take his place. What wasted years darling, when we thought that we would love one man forever but then the man kept changing skin color, looks, and tribe.
But the funny thing is Kelvin wasn’t last, along came one that I can’t remember his name, then a Niyi and then a student lecturer whose thought stole my focus in classes he was present in. These things never stop, the attraction I mean and the ideology of our time didn’t help either, they made us think that acting on these attractions were absolutely normal.
See, girl, if I could have a dollar for each moment I “fell in love” I would be richer than bill gates. There are fine creations everywhere, the “chemistry” is felt with more than one person you would come across in a lifetime. If I were to act on every chemistry I felt, I’d be polyandrous by now but in sincerity, there is no such thing as “Falling in love”, though it is true you can’t choose who you love but I think you can choose not to act on the first impulse and waste your time and some precious years.
Love is not just a feeling, it is much more. And the days when the feeling isn’t enough to keep both parties together, much more will.
The world tells us that a spark (chemistry) will start a fire, forgetting that it could but that it won’t keep it burning. Having met Jesus, who is now Lord over my soul and all of me, I have come to trust in him and let him quench the spark that will only come to start fires that will not be sustained, the kind the world tells us to chase; crush, attractions, chemistry, and lust that will only burn for a while, only to leave ashes of heartbreaks, wasted years and sometimes, huge irreversible consequences.
Love is not just a feeling, don’t go chasing after sparks, wait for the fire that will keep burning. One day, we will meet that one whose fire of love will burn unquenchable within us and we would realize that all was but wasted years.
Bye for now